Scary
You know what I notice in things like these? Something that drags it down. Ever read Robert Corimers book "After the First Death" 4 gunmen take control of a bus full of preschool kids, and kill 2 and the driver. You learn about them, and you feel like siding with them. You avoided this. For that simple reason, 10.
Hmm
By killing her, you were probably aiming at slicing the audiences happy string, but you would have achieved this much better if you let the story progress further. That and the dragons. It's like when Dad's head catches on fire.
Hmm.
Why does the narrator remind me of Al Gore's An Inconvinient Truth?
Woah.
I am so gonna freak out a Grade 1 class with this story!
It's a beautiful and well-thought masterpiece. Congratulations.
Cake
The summary is a lie...
lol
In Soviet Russia, pancake sit on you!
Joke on Bungee Jumping
Tom and Mark are two very enthusiastic bungee jumpers with over 200 jumps under their belts. They love everything and everything about bungee jumping. One day, they decide to open their own business, which is, bungee jumping. However, Tom and Mark live in New Zealand, where there are many bungee jumping businesses (It's true, look it up) so they decide to open it in Mexico. They get some money together, and hire some contractors and begin building. When it's done, over 400 people turn up for the opening. Mark decides to show them what it's like. He straps himself in, and jumps. He bounces back up, with a few minor scrathes and bruises. He goes down again, and comes back up black and blue with heavy bleeding. Tom tries to catch him, but misses. He comes up again, with broken bones. Tom catches him, and calls an ambulance. He asks what happened, and if the line was too long, to which Mark replies
"The rope was fine, but what the hell is a pinata!?"
Excellent work Knox!
Hmm
Go figure.
...
Do your parents let you suck lollipops?...
Hmm
He needs help.
Screw it, I give up.
Male
Astroproctologist .
Queensland, Australia
Joined on 7/4/08
Autumn Tree 
Aladdin 3150 
The Sky Is Broken 
The Little Girl 
Still Alive - Portal 
Pancake Mines 
(2005) Bungee Jumping! 
A Half-Life Christmas 
jackson chocolate factory 
A New Bunny